Architecture of a Double Life was my reality on the 14th floor in Vancouver. While the world saw an engineer, my soul was escaping into a different space. I found comfort in books and the pure quartz of a child’s embrace. This structure was my protection and my prison. In this episode of Soul Geology, I explore the hidden layers of that time.
You can support my journey and buy me a coffee on Ko-fi. My books, including stories of this transformation, are available on my Amazon Author Page. Understanding the architecture of a double life is essential for finding true peace. If you missed the previous episode, read about the Crack in the Foundation. We all build walls, but eventually, we must learn to breathe.
Epizoda 5: Između Nebodera i Zagrljaja — Arhitektura Dvostrukog Života
“Pod mikroskopom, svijet je bio logičan. Kristali nisu lagali. Oni su imali jasnu strukturu, predvidljive lomove i čistu ljepotu.”
Moj radni dan počinjao je u liftu zgrade u Georgia Street, u samom srcu Vancouvera. Svako jutro, uspinjući se prema 14. katu, osjećala sam kako se pritisak obiteljskih problema smanjuje. Okružena ljudima visoke inteligencije, u tom modernom tornju od stakla i čelika, ja sam pronalazila svoj mir. Moj laboratorij bio je moj hram, moja meditacija.
Dok sam analizirala uzorke dijamanata sa sjevera, bježala sam od stvarnosti koja me čekala kod kuće. Voljela sam svoje kolege, voljela sam taj intelektualni poticaj – on me podsjećao da sam ja, Sanja, mnogo više od prevarene žene. Ja sam bila stručnjak, inženjerka, netko tko vidi ono što drugi ne primjećuju.
A onda, nakon osam sati tišine i fokusa, uslijedio bi najljepši dio dana: povratak mojim sinovima.
Bila sam umorna, noge su me boljele, ali onaj trenutak kad ih zagrlim i poljubim brisao je svaku eroziju duše. Igrali smo se, učili, a svaku večer, bez iznimke, ja sam ih kupala. To je bio naš ritual čišćenja od svega vanjskog. Osigurala sam im sve. Uzela sam kredit, kupila kuću – svaki od njih imao je svoju sobu, svoj sigurni kutak.
Gledajući ih kako spavaju, znala sam da sam ja taj temelj koji drži krov nad njihovim glavama. Možda je moj brak bio “pirit”, ali moj odnos s djecom i moj rad bili su čisti kvarc – prozirni, snažni i sposobni prenositi energiju.
Živjela sam dva života: jedan u oblacima Vancouvera, među kristalima, i drugi na zemlji, u toplini dječjih soba. Bila sam arhitektica njihove sreće, čak i dok sam vlastitu još uvijek tražila pod lećom mikroskopa.
Épisode 5 : Entre Gratte-ciel et Étreintes — L’Architecture d’une Double Vie
« Sous le microscope, le monde était logique. Les cristaux ne mentaient pas. Ils avaient une structure claire, des fractures prévisibles et une beauté pure. »
Ma journée de travail commençait dans l’ascenseur d’un immeuble de Georgia Street, en plein cœur de Vancouver. Chaque matin, en montant vers le 14ème étage, je sentais la pression de mes problèmes familiaux diminuer. Entourée de gens d’une grande intelligence, dans cette tour moderne de verre et d’acier, je trouvais ma paix. Mon laboratoire était mon temple, ma méditation.
Pendant que j’analysais des échantillons de diamants venus du nord, je fuyais la réalité qui m’attendait à la maison. J’aimais mes collègues, j’aimais cette stimulation intellectuelle – elle me rappelait que moi, Sanja, j’étais bien plus qu’une femme trompée. J’étais une experte, une ingénieure, quelqu’un qui voit ce que les autres ne remarquent pas.
Et puis, après huit heures de silence et de concentration, venait la plus belle partie de la journée : le retour auprès de mes fils.
J’étais fatiguée, j’avais mal aux jambes, mais l’instant où je les serrais dans mes bras et les embrassais effaçait toute érosion de mon âme. Nous jouions, nous apprenions, et chaque soir, sans exception, c’est moi qui leur donnais le bain. C’était notre rituel de purification de tout ce qui venait de l’extérieur. Je leur ai tout assuré. J’ai contracté un prêt, acheté une maison – chacun d’eux avait sa propre chambre, son coin sécurisant.
En les regardant dormir, je savais que j’étais la fondation qui soutenait le toit au-dessus de leurs têtes. Mon mariage était peut-être de la “pyrite”, mais ma relation avec mes enfants et mon travail étaient du pur quartz – transparents, forts et capables de transmettre de l’énergie.
Je vivais deux vies : l’une dans les nuages de Vancouver, parmi les cristaux, et l’autre sur terre, dans la chaleur des chambres d’enfants. J’étais l’architecte de leur bonheur, même si je cherchais encore le mien sous la lentille du microscope.
Episode 5: Between Skyscrapers and Embraces — The Architecture of a Double Life
“Under the microscope, the world was logical. Crystals didn’t lie. They had a clear structure, predictable fractures, and a pure beauty.”
My workday began in the elevator of a building on Georgia Street, right in the heart of Vancouver. Every morning, ascending to the 14th floor, I felt the pressure of my family problems shrink. Surrounded by people of high intelligence, in that modern tower of glass and steel, I found my peace. My laboratory was my temple, my meditation.
As I analyzed diamond samples from the north, I escaped the reality waiting for me at home. I loved my colleagues, I loved that intellectual stimulation—it reminded me that I, Sanja, was much more than a betrayed woman. I was an expert, an engineer, someone who sees what others do not notice.
And then, after eight hours of silence and focus, came the most beautiful part of the day: returning to my sons.
I was tired, my legs ached, but the moment I hugged and kissed them erased any erosion of the soul. We played, we learned, and every evening, without exception, I bathed them. It was our ritual of cleansing from everything external. I provided everything for them. I took out a mortgage, bought a house—each of them had their own room, their safe corner.
Watching them sleep, I knew that I was the foundation holding the roof over their heads. My marriage may have been “pyrite,” but my relationship with my children and my work were pure quartz—transparent, strong, and capable of transmitting energy.
I lived two lives: one in the clouds of Vancouver, among crystals, and the other on the ground, in the warmth of children’s bedrooms. I was the architect of their happiness, even while I was still searching for my own under the lens of a microscope.